Self care Monday-rest

Where do you find 10 minutes to reset?

Getting our of your head. I don't know about you, but I spend entirely too much time going round and round in my own headspace when what I need to do is stop.

One way I like to do this is go for a walk. Not just around the block, there are people there and I don't need to talk to anyone. When setting boundaries, it's hard to keep them when your neighbor pops out and wants to talk for 20+ minutes when all you want is 10 minutes to yourself.

My go-to place is the beach. First thing in the morning when the crowds haven't arrived yet, whether summer or winter. I'm less than an hour from the coast, so I admit it's easier for me than most. 

Walking along an empty (or mostly empty) beach always recharges me.

Husband of Convenience-update

Kaya and Paul's first book is with the editor! AND...the cover artist is now working on a cover!

I'm excited and nervous and really excited! This has been 4+ years in the making. But in January I decided this was the year to get all my stories ready for the world. So yeah, really excited!

I should have the cover in 2 or so weeks and the edits back about the same time. Phew! Suddenly everything is moving super fast!

Self care Monday-sleep

What 3 things are you grateful for today?

I haven't been sleeping well lately. I'm sure I'm not alone in that. Usually I find myself awake around 3:30, staring at the ceiling, the wall, the inside of my mind that won't shut up! I don't grab my phone or turn on the TV or pick up the book I'm reading. That makes it worse, like well, not I'm awake, so I should be doing something.

Gratitude. I try to think of at least 3 things I'm grateful for. Not like air, a bed, central air. Though I am grateful for those I'm talking deeper. 

Thinking of things I'm grateful for like another wonderful day with my dog and the beautiful walk we took. Or talking to my 94 year old grandmother during our weekly call. Or even that I'm grateful that I paid all my bills this week and had money left over!

Thinking what I'm grateful for, in the dark, with my eyes closed, helps my mind relax and refocuses it from what's keeping me awake to allowing it to drift off.

Title for a short story

 I have a freebie short story (almost) ready to go! I just need a title, and am waiting on the cover.

Here's the blurb:

Escorting a widow and her six children away from London and her husband’s shady activities didn’t fit Lieutenant Malcolm Sawyer’s plan of infiltrating the seedier side of Dover. Tea with the lovely Lady Hélène, did. However, it was only a brief stop on his way to find proof of a suspected French invasion imminent.

He had not imagined the lovely Louise Ardenne opening the door with a modified walking stick, ready to bludgeon him.

Louise Ardenne had no time for dashing English officers. A refugee from France who traded all her possessions for safe passage across the Channel, she owed her life to Lady Hélène and had more serious business than flushing at pretty compliments. The tall, sapphire-eyed officer posed an intriguing mix of threat from arrest or an opportunity for help finding her missing father and brother. If she didn’t melt at his searing looks first.

Revolution had burned her world to the ground. Malcolm, with his honor and kisses that stole her breath may finish the job.  She’s not a French spy.  He doesn’t trust her. An alliance is built not on trust but need, for the heat building between them and the answers they both seek amidst a world in chaos where even the closest friend could be an enemy.

Will their tentative alliance in the face of intrigue and spies be enough to convince him she is who she says? Or will her questions lead to her own death?

Self care Monday

 Recently got together with my immediate family to celebrate my parents' birthdays. During dinner my brother said something about "Well of course it was the worst thing."

They have a beehive and when they were eating dinner one night they saw the bees swarming above the hive, around the trees.

So naturally his mind jumped to the worst case scenario, which was that the bees had decided they didn't like their hive and had decided to abandon it. This happens sometimes. But not this time. What their bees were doing was orientating.

The new bees swarmed overhead to orient themselves to the position of their hive. But, you know, worst case scenario!

Apparently that sort of pessimism runs in the family.😉

Have you ever heard of the book Mindset by Carol Dweck?  Go forth and read it. I'm more of a narrative nonfiction reader but this was really good. From the Publisher's Weekly review: 

...everyone has either a fixed mindset or a growth mindset. A fixed mindset is one in which you view your talents and abilities as... well, fixed. In other words, you are who you are, your intelligence and talents are fixed, and your fate is to go through life avoiding challenge and failure. A growth mindset, on the other hand, is one in which you see yourself as fluid, a work in progress. Your fate is one of growth and opportunity.

Not gonna lie, it's not easy to change your mindset, but it is worth it! I've been working on my own mindset since pre-pandemic. It's a work in progress, but so worth it!!

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A few reference books

 I've used a hundred websites and more than a dozen books in my research. I also have a BA in History and am a Reference Librarian, so that may account for some of that. Overkill? Probably.

Here are only 4 books I've either bought or borrowed through my library.

Harem: The World Behind the Veil by Alev Lytle Croutier

Cairo: Histories of a City by Nezar AlSayyad

Renaissance of Islam: Art of the Mamluks by Smithsonian Institution Press

The Regency Underground by  Donald A. Low

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Self Care Monday

 Happy Monday!

I know, is Monday ever happy? One day, when I no longer need to wake at 6am for my day job, Mondays will be the happiest of happy days. Today is not that day.

But happy day to you anyway!

Today I want to talk a little about No. Just say no is a theme from my childhood, but it works in a lot of areas I don't think Nancy Reagan thought of.

No is a boundary. No is your boundary. No is all you need to say. 

"No."

You don't have to expand, elaborate, or embellish. No is no. Period.

It's also the hardest word to say. Why? Because American society demands more even when it's no one's damn business. 

• Want to do X? Can I have Y?
  etc
• No.
• Why not?
• And then it's you on the defensive when it shouldn't be.

The no boundary is the simplest yet hardest boundary to maintain. Yet it's also the yes boundary--yes to you! Saying no to what you don't want means yes to more time for you.

Embrace that time! It's yours and yours alone to hand out. If you want to keep it for yourself, good! You deserve your time!

August 2021 New Moon

One day I'll organize my YouTube videos. Today is not that day. But in my variety of video watching/listening, I stumble across a lot of cool things I've been interested in but may not have consciously searched.

New Moon Meditation is one!

I found this amazing video on August's new moon and really enjoyed it. There are a lot of things to take away from this, but what I enjoyed most was the 28 day cycle of goals. My word.

What I do is take a few minutes to get into the right headspace, then write down what no longer serves me. What I wish to release so I can move forward in a better space (headspace, writing space, work space, all of it).

 

For me writing down what I want to let go of and focusing on what I want to create instead helps better define my goals. What do I want to do this month? How will releasing X help me accomplish that?

I hope this video helps you, too!

Conrad Chronicles List

 I decided to call this series the Conrad Chronicles even though it's a series of series. 

Kaya and Paul's journey includes 4 books at present, 3 of which are written or mostly written.

• Husband of Convenience
• Sins of a Rogue
  
• Lover's Promise
• Book 4 (what? I'm only 40% finished with Lover's Promise!)
• This is where we meet Nadia
  

Nadia and James's journey includes 3 books, 2 of which are are written or mostly written.

• Smuggler's Captain
• Her Captain's Past
• His Smuggler's Promise

The series continues with future generations, and with friends and family, so chronicles, to detail their family.

Self care Monday

 One of the things I like doing to help relieve stress is walk. I'm lucky in that I can walk inside an air conditioned/heated building with minimal interference. (Meaning no people to talk to!) it helps me shake off stress and get my mind back to where it needs to be for the day.

Doing so at work makes me more focused after work for writing. It also helps during work to keep me energized so when I'm finished, I'm not so tired I'm dozing on the couch doom scrolling through my phone.

I recently read an article about how the benefits of a short walk, 10-15 minutes a day. I don't think this was it, but it's a good article anyway.