Self Care Monday-Failure

 I heard a phrase the other day that there is victory in failure. It struck a chord. I've also recently heard the phrase: What have you failed at today and how it's supposed to help you see that success is the consequence of failure. If you don't watch Steve Hartman, check out this segment he did on this fantastic athlete. 

All these things came in within weeks of each other, so I'm taking that as a sign!

Failure isn't always bad. Failure is only a step forward. Not backward, forward. Take what you learned from that failure and make it work for you.

Tuesday Tidbit-Aspromonte Mountains

 In Sins of a Rogue , Kaya and Paul hike through the Aspromonte Mountains from the tip of the boot of Italy, Villa San Giovanni, northward. I've looked at so many photos of these mountains and I really want to visit them! 

The mountains (technically a masiff, which I'd never heard of or possibly forgotten since college earth science). Anyway, these mountains overlook the Strait of Messina to the southwest-ish, at the actual tip of the boot of Italy, the Tyrrhenian Sea to the east and the Ionian Sea to the west.

Aspromonte National Park

Here are several sites I used in my research.

Aspromonte National Park (understandingitaly.com)

Aspromonte - Wikipedia

Gambarie, Garibaldi and a Day in the Aspromonte Mountains (calabriatheotheritaly.com)

Self Care Monday-Yes And

 A month or so ago, I read an article on why resumes go into the yes or no pile. Several of the reasons were truly arbitrary such as "Lives too far", as if the resume reader had the right to judge that. The author suggested a "Yes, and...?" approach to sorting these resumes.

I wish I could remember anything else about this article, but that's what stuck with me most. Yes, and?

Yes, and...what? 

It's become my mantra for these last weeks. I need to write this chapter. Yes, and? Well, I guess I better sit down and write!

It's amazing how easy it is to change your mindset with a simple question: Yes, and...

Next time you grumble about something (job, laundry, whatever) ask yourself, yes, and? and see what happens.

I hate doing laundry. Yes, and? I don't want to toss in another load. Yes, and? I won't. Yes, and? If I don't clean my clothes, I won't have clean underwear. 

Obviously that's a simplistic approach, but it's gotten me to clean my kitchen counters of all the containers I've been meaning to put away for 2 months, bag up a crap ton of clothes to give away, and made me sit down and take time to watch a TV show I've been meaning to for months. Hmm, closer to a year now. 

Tuesday Tidbit-Opium

 There's a lot about opium. A lot written about it and a lot to know. Here are a few key historical bits from a cool timeline I found on PBS for research for Sins of a Rogue. I've only added the timeline for the 1700s, which is when the book takes place. 

 In Sins of a Rogue, Paul must confront his past, which involves alcohol, opium, and a less than ideal friend he thought had died in Bombay. He's forced to wonder if the changes in him since his marriage to Kaya are real or if the lure of opium is stronger.

1700	The Dutch export shipments of Indian opium to China and the islands of Southeast Asia; the Dutch introduce the practice of smoking opium in a tobacco pipe to the Chinese.
1729	Chinese emperor, Yung Cheng, issues an edict prohibiting the smoking of opium and its domestic sale, except under license for use as medicine.
1750	The British East India Company assumes control of Bengal and Bihar, opium-growing districts of India. British shipping dominates the opium trade out of Calcutta to China.
1753	Linnaeus, the father of botany, first classifies the poppy, Papaver somniferum-- 'sleep-inducing', in his book Genera Plantarum.
1767	The British East India Company's import of opium to China reaches a staggering two thousand chests of opium per year.
1793	The British East India Company establishes a monopoly on the opium trade. All poppy growers in India were forbidden to sell opium to competitor trading companies.
1799	China's emperor, Kia King, bans opium completely, making trade and poppy cultivation illegal.
1800	The British Levant Company purchases nearly half of all of the opium coming out of Smyrna, Turkey strictly for importation to Europe and the United States.

Self Care Monday-Gratitude

 We have one life. We should make the most of it. It's so hard being grateful when it seems everything is a nuisance. The traffic and the lines and the people being all peopley. The crying and screaming and lack of boundaries and the could you just...pleeeeaaassseeeee?

Repeat after me:

Thank you for the green light.

Thank you for the smiling barista.

Thank you for the person who held the door for me.

Thank you for _______. Whatever just happened. Even if it's not ideal. Why? Because being grouchy won't change the outcome but will make you feel grouchy.

Self Care Monday-not me

 Repeat after me: That's not my responsibility.

I don't mean taking out the trash or filling the dishwasher because the person who "normally" does it is sick or tired or not there or asked you to for God's sake. Or filling in for a co-worker who's out sick. That's not what this is about at all. 

No, I mean making sure all those people in your life who rely on you do so for the right reasons. Not because you have time during your day and they're in sudden desperate need of you to run their errands. Not because you've got the money and they suddenly need a new car or want that money to start a new business without any sort of plan, let alone a solid one.

People (should) rely on you because they love you and care for your well-being and are grateful for the held you do provide without taking advantage. Not because of what you can do for them because they think you should do it for them. 

Tuesday Tidbit: Gin

William Hogarth, Gin Lane

GIN, CURSED FIEND, WITH FURY FRAUGHT, MAKES HUMAN RACE A PREY. IT ENTERS BY A DEADLY DRAUGHT AND STEALS OUR LIFE AWAY. ~ REV JAMES TOWNLEY, 1751 

Gin was cheap and easy to find. "In 1730, around 10 million gallons of gin were being distilled in the Capital each year and sold from 7,000 dram shops. In fact, it’s estimated that the average Londoner drank a staggering 14 gallons of the stuff a year!" 18th Century Gin Craze | Sky HISTORY TV Channel

And this was before the Gin Palaces. Yes. Really. 

In Smuggler's Captain, I mention the ill effects of gin several times and how it destroyed families. Personally, I love a good gin and tonic. But 14 gallons a year?!

The Complete and Slightly Insane History of Gin in England | VinePair

Gin, also known as Mothers Ruin (historic-uk.com)

A History of Gin And The 18th-Century Gin Craze - HistoryExtra